Marry Me (Lyrics and Love Book 1) Page 5

  “Hi,” I say as I stop directly in front of him.

  “Hi,” he replies on a sigh.

  We both stand there in slightly uncomfortable silence.

  “Shall we go in and talk?” I ask quietly.

  “Yeah, sure.” He has a defeated look on his face.

  I follow him up the stairs and down the hall to the hotel room that was supposed to be our honeymoon suite. I walk in and see the champagne chilling in the ice bucket and the plate of chocolate-covered strawberries on the desk. Looking around, my gaze falls to the floor, and I see the remnants of some rose petals that were probably on the bed, that Brad has already removed.

  I take a seat on one of the chairs next to the window as Brad stays standing next to the king-sized bed.

  “I’m sorry,” I finally say, breaking the silence. “I really want you to know that. I never meant for it to happen. I should have told you earlier that I was having second thoughts.”

  Brad blows out an audible breath, almost chuckling, but not in a funny way at all. “That would have been nice. Anything would have been better than you ditching me at the altar.” He rubs his face with his hand, squeezing the bridge of his nose, as if he’s willing a tension headache away.

  “Can you tell me why? What changed?” he asks.

  I let out the breath I’d been holding and dive headfirst, wanting to get everything out.

  “A few months ago, I started having this nagging feeling, like something wasn’t right. It only bothered me a few times, and I just figured it was normal wedding jitters. I knew I loved you, and that you loved me, so I just pushed it away, and things would be fine for a while. As we got closer to today, the feeling started coming more frequently and wasn’t as easy to push out of my mind.

  “Last night, I sat out in the reception tent after everyone had gone to bed, pondering if I should call off the wedding. I hardly slept last night, constantly tossing and turning. Then, this morning, before I got ready, Zoey realized something was wrong, and tried to get me to talk to you, but I didn’t want to hurt you. So, once again, I pushed the feeling aside and went forward with getting ready. I was doing fine until I reached the aisle and it all fell apart from there. I felt like I could hardly breathe, like I was about to make a huge mistake, not only for me but for you, too.”

  “But why? Is it me? Did I not show you my love enough?” he asks, running his hands through his hair as he tries to understand what went wrong. How we ended up in this position of me leaving him standing at the altar. It isn’t like we rushed this decision. Hell, we dated for six years before getting engaged, and our engagement lasted another year and a half. We didn’t even live together until we’d graduated college and had been dating for a few years.

  “It wasn’t you. I promise. And I’m not trying to feed you the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ bullshit. And, of course, you loved me and showed that to me. But I can’t stop the feeling that I’m in love with someone else and have been for most of my life. I can’t stop feeling like I was doing you a disservice by moving forward with marrying you. It wasn’t fair to me, and it definitely wasn’t fair to you.”

  “It’s Sam, isn’t it?” he questions quietly, the finality of our situation, our relationship, the past eight years together, just done.

  “Yes,” I answer him honestly.

  “I should have known. Does he know?”

  “Yes. When I left the ceremony, I went and found him. When I couldn’t find him in the audience, I knew he’d left, as I’d seen him earlier from the window, mingling amongst the guests. I found him at the diner. We’ve only talked enough that he knows I left you at the altar. But I felt like you deserved to hear it from me first, before anyone else.”

  “I had a feeling that first time you introduced me to him that something was off. It always stayed in the back of my mind, but neither of you ever flirted or did anything to make me think that the feelings were mutual. But I could always tell that he held a torch for you. How long have you been in love with him?”

  “Since I was nine years old, if I’m being honest. But in reality, probably since I was sixteen. Only once did we ever almost kiss, but that was interrupted, and the moment never came again. I wished for years that he would see me as more than his best friend or his best friend’s sister. When nothing ever happened, I gave up and decided to move on with my life and start dating. Shortly after that, you asked me out again and I finally said yes.”

  “I was so pumped that you finally gave in to me,” he says, a small smile cracking his lips.

  “We had some great times together, and I’m sorry I couldn’t love you better,” I tell him, looking down at my hands sitting in my lap. It’s then I notice my engagement ring is still on my left hand. I slip it off, a tear sliding down my cheek at the finality of my relationship with Brad. I hold my hand out to him, depositing the ring in his hand. “It doesn’t feel right for me to keep this.”

  “Yeah, thanks,” he says, pocketing the ring. He’d taken his grandmother’s ring and used the diamonds from it to have mine designed. Her ring was cracked and not able to be fixed, so making a new ring from it was the only option. I loved what he’d designed, and would have cherished it had we gotten married, but it was the least I could do to return it to him.

  “So, what do we want to do about the condo?” he asks, finally taking a seat in the chair across from me.

  “I’m not going to fight you, so I can move out if you don’t want to move. I’ll even pay my half of the rent for the next few months if you need me to.” I’m thankful we put off buying a place of our own for a few years. We weren’t sure if Brad’s job was going to transfer him in the near future, so we figured it was best to wait to buy.

  “You don’t have to do that, Ren. You know I can afford it on my own.”

  “Thank you. I guess I’ll come over in the next few days, and pack up my stuff and move it into my parents’ garage for now, until I can find an apartment of my own. Maybe when I come over, we can figure out how to split up our stuff, as well as our joint bank account.”

  “Yeah, that works. I’m off for the next ten days, so just text me and we can set up a time,” he tells me, trying to keep the hurt from his voice. I know he’s upset, and I’m so grateful he is being so understanding. I don’t know that I’d have been able to show this much grace to him had the tables been turned.

  With the air between us cleared, or as cleared as it’s going to get for now, I stand to leave.

  “I just wanted to say I’m sorry again. I never meant to hurt you.” A tear slips down my cheek.

  He stands, pulling me into his arms, comforting me as if I didn’t just finish breaking his heart.

  “I know. And as much as this day sucked, I’m sure one day I’ll be thankful that you listened to your heart. I’d rather be left at the altar, than get a few months or years down the road and go through a messy divorce.”

  “Thank you for being so understanding. Someone is out there that is going to make you a happy man and she’s one lucky lady. I truly hope you find happiness,” I tell him sincerely before walking out of the hotel room.

  When I make it down to the car, I sit back in the driver’s seat in the silence. It’s only just after six, but it feels like it should be after midnight already. I start the car and drive back toward my grandparents’ house. I need some food and a bed after the emotional day I’ve had. Everything else can wait to be dealt with until tomorrow.

  11

  Sam

  After Lauren left, it went from complete silence to everyone talking at once. I stood there as everyone volleyed questions at no one in particular and some at me. I know this family—hell, I’ve been an honorary member of it for the past nineteen years—and was just as confused as they were over the events from today.

  “Listen,” I call out over everyone, causing them all to stop talking and listen to what I have to say. “She only talked to me a little bit this afternoon, so I don’t know much. She mainly stayed quiet and wanted a pl
ace away from everyone while the house emptied out and she could gather her thoughts. She was adamant that she talk to Brad first. I’m not going to tell you what little she told me already, as that’s for her to share when she feels ready.

  “Once she found me at the diner, I took her back to my hotel, where she took a shower and changed out of her dress, and then we came here. So, as I said, I don’t have much more information than that. I’m sure once she returns from talking to Brad, she’ll share with you what happened and why she did what she did.”

  “I knew she was having some second thoughts this morning,” Debra says, breaking the silence. “We talked through some of her anxiety and she thought she’d worked through it all. I’m guessing that didn’t work and it caused her to run.”

  Everyone mulls over what Debra has just said, but before anyone says anything else, we hear the front door open and footsteps fill the hall.

  “Hi.” Lauren’s voice fills the kitchen as everyone turns to look at her. She looks worn out and emotionally exhausted. I’m sure the day has taken a toll on her. I’d love nothing more than to whisk her away from here for the night; hell, maybe the next few days. Zoey steps forward and wraps her in a hug, trying to offer her some comfort she obviously needs right now.

  “How’d it go?” Steven asks her.

  “As good as I could have expected, he was actually really understanding,” she says. “Mom, do we have anything I can eat? I’m starving and am starting to get shaky.”

  “Of course, sweetie. I can warm you up a plate of food from the reception food or make you a sandwich, what would you prefer?”

  “A plate would be fine.” Lauren moves further into the kitchen, grabbing a glass from the cabinet and filling it with some ice and water from the fridge before taking a seat at the table.

  Debra brings the plate over and sets it in front of her, handing her some silverware to go along with it. “Eat up, sweetie. You’ve had a long, emotional day.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  “Can I get anyone else a plate while I have the food out?”

  “I could go for some food,” I tell her, along with Grandpa Jo and Steven.

  “I can help you, Mom,” Steven offers.

  “No need, you just stay seated and I’ll have it all ready in just a few minutes.”

  An hour or so later, we’ve all eaten and have moved from the kitchen to the living room. Steven and Renee have packed up Ethan and headed home to get him into bed.

  “Did you want to stay here tonight?” Debra asks Lauren.

  “I hadn’t really thought about where I’d be sleeping tonight. I’ve been so overwhelmed with everything else going on. Are you and Dad driving home tonight or staying here?”

  “I think we’d planned on driving home, and just coming back tomorrow when the rental company is due to be back to break down the tent and pack up all the tables and chairs.”

  I lean over, wanting to offer up the sanctuary of my hotel room if she’d like to get away from everyone, and say softly, “You’re welcome to come to the hotel with me if you need out of here again. It would give us some time alone to talk more.”

  “Thank you.” She gives me a small smile, then turns to her parents. “I might go to the hotel with Sam. I kind of want some time alone to process everything, if you don’t mind.”

  “Whatever you want, we’re behind you completely,” her dad answers.

  “I’m going to head out myself. Call or text me if you need anything,” Zoey tells Lauren, pulling her into a hug goodbye before she leaves the room.

  “Let me just grab my suitcase from upstairs, and we can head out,” she tells me, then stands and walks out of the room. I turn back to the table and am met with a stern look from Ryan.

  “I’m trusting you to take care of my baby girl tonight. She’s fragile right now, and I’m trusting you to not let her make any more rash decisions she might regret. I’m not saying she’s going to make a decision like that, but don’t let her rush into anything serious either. I know enough to know how you feel about her, and Debra filled me in on her reasoning for bolting today. I know she trusts you and feels comfortable with you. So, once again, man to man, I’m asking you to take care of her tonight. I love you like a son, but I won’t hesitate to destroy all you hold dear if you mess with my girl.”

  “You have my word. I’ll take care of her tonight, and any other night she’ll have me. But I also think she needs time to process what happened today and not rush into anything new. I’m willing to take things slow and follow her lead on whatever is to come between us. If that means we just stay friends, then so be it. But if that means that I get to one day call her my own and give her my last name, then you can be damn sure I’ll do that as well.”

  We shake hands, and he pulls me in for a one-armed man hug, slapping me a little harder than he’d normally do on my back. Steven and I aren’t the only ones who go a little alpha-male protective over Lauren. We learned from the best, and he’s not afraid to remind me of that fact.

  A few moments later, Lauren comes back down the stairs, suitcase in hand, along with a dress bag draped over her free arm.

  “Let me just say goodbye to everyone and then I’ll be ready to go.”

  “I’m ready when you are. Are you riding with me?” I ask, not really knowing what her plan is.

  “Yes, if you don’t mind, I don’t have my car here. I’ll need to go get it sometime tomorrow.”

  “Of course, I don’t mind. While you say your goodbyes, I’ll get your bags loaded up,” I tell her, reaching for her things.

  I quickly get them into the back seat of my rental, then head back into the house to say goodbye myself and wait for Lauren.

  A few minutes later, we’re in the car and pulling out on the road.

  “Need me to stop anywhere before the hotel?”

  “I don’t think so. I’ve got anything I might need tonight in my suitcase, so unless you need something…”

  “Nope, I’ve got everything I need,” I tell her, reaching over and grabbing her hand, interlacing our fingers together before I drop them on her leg. My thumb rubs circles on the top of her hand, the softness of her skin making my own skin tingle.

  It doesn’t take long for us to reach the hotel, and after getting out of the car, I grab Lauren’s bags from the back seat. We make our way back up to my room, both quiet as we settle in.

  Lauren opens her suitcase, pulling out a toiletries bag and what looks to be some pajamas, or maybe yoga pants and a tank top.

  “I’m just going to get ready for bed before we talk, if that’s okay with you. I’m exhausted, so I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to stay awake tonight.”

  “Whatever you need. I’m here for you.”

  I grab my own clothes to change into, figuring it’s probably best to sleep in a little more than my boxer briefs, like I normally do. As soon as she closes the door to the bathroom, I strip and pull on a pair of basketball shorts and a t-shirt, then take a seat on the bed to wait for Lauren to join me.

  12

  Lauren

  I step into the bathroom, taking in my appearance, and it isn’t a lovely sight. I look like I’ve aged ten years today alone. I guess leaving your fiancé at the altar will do that to a girl.

  I quickly change into my sleep tank and shorts, and then pull out my face wash and toothbrush. As I told Sam, I’m exhausted and not sure how long I’m going to last tonight. I think a good night’s sleep will do wonders for me.

  I quickly finish up in the bathroom and when I exit, I find Sam propped up on the bed, watching some show on the TV. He’s also changed into some sleep clothes and, holy shit, does he look good. I have to bite my lip to keep a moan from escaping. Why did I think staying with him was a good idea?

  “You okay over there?” he asks, pulling me from my daydream ogling fest. Thankfully, he doesn’t embarrass me by calling me out on it.

  “Oh yeah, sorry. Just lots on my mind,” I tell him, trying to pass it off as nothi
ng.

  “Come here,” he says, patting the bed next to him.

  I set my clothes back in my suitcase and make my way over to the king-sized bed. I sit down, then slide over until I’m settled in the center of that side of the bed.

  “I’m sorry for all the drama and stress today. Thank you for being here for me,” I tell Sam.

  “You don’t have to apologize to me. I’d rather you follow your heart than do something because you didn’t want to upset someone else.”

  “Thank you.” I shift so I’m lying on my side, facing him. I adjust the pillow to help prop me up and get comfortable. “What’s your favorite memory from our childhood?” I ask, not really knowing how to jump into the conversation we need to have.

  “Hmmm… there are so many good ones. How to choose just one,” he muses, then goes silent as he starts thinking. “Do you have one already picked out?”

  “I don’t necessarily have just one, but many.”

  “Tell me one.”

  Lauren

  16 years old

  The homecoming football game just ended, and the guys played amazing. Not only did they bring home the win, but they kept the other team to only one field goal the entire game. I’m still hanging out in the stands with our group of friends, waiting on the guys to get showered and changed before we head for the homecoming party.

  “Sam!” I shriek as I’m picked up from behind and swung around in a circle. “Put me down!” I laugh at him as he spins us around a second time before putting me back down on my feet. “What was that for?”

  “Just because.” He laughs. “I knew you didn’t hear me approach and that I’d be able to catch you off guard,” he says on another laugh.

  “You ready to head out?” I ask, slugging him in the arm.

  “Yep,” he tells me. I turn and surprise him when I jump on his back for a piggyback ride.